Heat deep fryer to 375 degrees. Combine first 6 ingredients in blender and blend until well-mixed. Transfer batter to medium bowl. Dip asparagus in batter and deep fry until golden brown and tender, about 2–3 minutes. Drain on paper towels and season with salt and pepper. Serve warm with three sauces.
To make dips:
Jalapeno Ketchup: Mix 1 cup ketchup with 1 tsp. grilled fresh jalapeno, minced; 1 tsp. minced chipotle in adobo; 1 tsp. lime juice; and 1 Tbsp. olive oil. Salt and pepper to taste.
Curry Dip: Mix 1/2 cup yogurt with 1/2 cup mayonnaise. Add 1 tsp. yellow curry powder and 1 tsp. chopped ginger. Salt and pepper to taste.
Parmesan Herb Dip:
Mix 1/2 cup mayonnaise with 1/2 cup sour cream and 1/4 cup buttermilk. Add 1 Tbsp. chopped fresh chives, marjoram, and Italian parsley. Add 3 Tbsp. grated Parmesan and 1 tsp. lemon juice. Salt and pepper to taste.